Pattern Recognition, by Ian Sigalow

Fools Gold

Introduction

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Ian Sigalow

Ian is a co-founder and partner at Greycroft Partners in New York City. He has been a venture capitalist since 2001.


LATEST POSTS

A Cure For Short Term Investors 06th August, 2017

“What Are You Investing In Now?” 12th August, 2016

Fools Gold

Posted on .

SB_BuckI have decided in the past few days that I am going to create a new currency.  It is going to be called “Ian Bucks”, or just “IB” for short.  If you are interested in purchasing some IBs please write below in the comments and I will contact you about it.

Here is how it will work.  Initially, 1 IB will equal $1 USD.  I have created an elaborate scheme to make more IBs, with 1 IB produced every 10 minutes.  Unless at some point I change my mind and make more.

I am calling the process of making IBs “mining” because that is how gold is made.  If you want a mining permit please call me and I will send you a floppy disk with instructions.

If you wish to purchase IBs you will have to give me US dollars and I will issue you IBs.

There are currently no merchants that accept IBs.  This is a speed bump and it will be fixed over time.

If you wish to redeem IBs with me, I reserve the right to give you Bitcoin in return.  This as a win-win because Bitcoins only go up over time.  In the event Flooz comes back I also reserve the right to give you Flooz as well.  There is no guarantee that Flooz will come back and I have no knowledge of Whoopi Goldberg’s future involvement.

I am planning to create an exchange for the trading of IBs.  Unfortunately, “Magic the Gathering: Online Exchange” is already taken by Bitcoin (aka Mt. GoX), so I am thinking of other cool MTG names like “MTG: Shivan Dragon Exchange” (aka Mt. GSDX)

Shivan Dragon

 OR……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

“MTG: Mahamoti Djinn Exchange” (aka Mt. GMDX):

Mahamoti Djinn

OR……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

I just can’t decide.  A lot of people play Magic the Gathering so this will definitely go viral.

I promise to write some software so IBs become hard to counterfeit.  I am not particularly good at writing software but I know people who can do this for me.

I have a detailed marketing plan to help get support of IBs.  My car has been wrapped with the IB logo and I purchased a super bowl ad in February.  I might also use sponsored posts on Twitter because I got a free allocation.

You may be thinking to yourself, “Why would anyone want IBs??”  I was wondering the same thing, so I came up with a couple use cases:

1.) Buying drugs.

2.) Evading sales tax.

3.) Funding Al-Qaeda.

4.) Speculation.

5.) Getting money out of China.

6.) Getting money into China.

7.) General money laundering.

There are many more uses. Some of them are even legitimate.

I have not raised outside money for IBs yet.  I plan to keep it closely held.  If, however, you know any VCs I would be happy to meet with them because this is a big idea.

NOTE: This article is a work of satire.

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Ian Sigalow

http://sigalow.com

Ian is a co-founder and partner at Greycroft Partners in New York City. He has been a venture capitalist since 2001.

Comments
  • user

    AUTHOR spcohn

    Posted on 9:50 am May 21, 2013.
    Reply

    I honestly don’t understand the gush over Bitcoins either.

    • user

      AUTHOR idsigs

      Posted on 10:40 am May 21, 2013.
      Reply

      spcohn Speculation my friend.  Speculation.

      • user

        AUTHOR spcohn

        Posted on 11:08 am May 21, 2013.
        Reply

        idsigs i get speculation.  it is crazy risky, but i understand it.  i don’t understand bitcoins.  it is speculation in an illiquid market where you put up real money but have no chance of getting real money back unless/until something changes.

  • user

    AUTHOR idsigs

    Posted on 10:39 am May 21, 2013.
    Reply

    Jrichlive Yes and I am going to denominate the fund in IB units.  Currently I only have 3 IBs so it is a very small fund.

  • user

    AUTHOR Alexpoonnyc

    Posted on 9:58 pm May 21, 2013.
    Reply

    Tell me how you really feel.

  • user

    AUTHOR Sergey Nazarov

    Posted on 9:31 am May 22, 2013.
    Reply

    Ian, thank you for making this blog, I have always found it immensely insightful.
    Yes on all of the above, except do it in a country where the local currency is rapidly becoming highly devalued and the government doesn’t quite grasp how to manipulate the delicate balance between fiat money and public perception just yet; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MMM_(Ponzi_scheme_company). In other words “let there be” a method of keeping/exchanging wealth that I trust more than the alternative presented to me by my local government.
    The difference for the average and even above average retail investor today appears to be that there isn’t any one self interested person, legal entity or government who can pull the plug on Bitcoin; the assumption being that this will somehow create underlying value. That this gap for a trusted currency will ever appear in the worldwide currency markets is highly doubtful, and if it does we will all have much larger problems.
    That is of course the long-view of this, in the short term, I completely agree about the speculation.

    • user

      AUTHOR sigalow

      Posted on 12:20 pm May 22, 2013.
      Reply

      Sergey Nazarov That is a good addition – IBs will now be based in Zimbabwe.  
      I haven’t researched the psychology of virtual currencies, but at a quick glance it looks like virtual currencies occur more frequently when the US stock market is at an all-time high than at an all-time low.  That would suggest that psychology (as well as a wealth effect = willingness to speculate, take risks, etc) plays a strong role in how people think about these alternative assets.

      • user

        AUTHOR Sergey Nazarov

        Posted on 1:04 pm May 22, 2013.
        Reply

        sigalow Sergey Nazarov
        It seems like they get going from crisis eg: Cyprus and then everyone gets on the bandwagon which is when we here about them, until of course reality sets in and the music suddenly stops. The worrying thing is that since these are essentially private international currencies, I can’t see how the SEC or similar institutions would minimized the impact of this on the larger financial system, eg: a bitcoin default of some sort.
        Virtual currencies as a whole are an amazing and highly lucrative business *idea*, as I am sure Alan very well knows from Beenz: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beenz.com. 
        In my opinion their success is only a matter of time and what has emerged so far is wrong only because it is “too early” and no one has had the capital, belief and/or business case to persevere until the conditions are right for lift off.
        In this sense Bitcoin seems to have a very real advantage over it’s predecessors in that it depends on no single person or team to continue it’s existence and therefore seems very likely to remain the virtual currency incumbent until the “market is ready” for it’s value proposition. Maybe in the next 5 years, once NFC payments become more popular due to hardware and we are all less dependent on banking/card networks, but who really knows… not me.

  • user

    AUTHOR KyleKutuchief

    Posted on 4:46 pm May 23, 2013.
    Reply

    Ian, I’ve been looking to diversify my investments.  Currently, I’m mostly in Ohio Lottery Tickets (high yield) and Beanie Babies (low risk).  Seems to me like IBs might be a nice addition to my portfolio.  After checking with my trusted broker (a magic 8 ball on my desk), it is decidedly so.  I will be in touch.

  • user

    AUTHOR sigalow

    Posted on 1:11 pm May 27, 2013.
    Reply

    I just got the following email about this blog post and wanted to
    add it as a comment.  I didn’t edit it… 
    Dear Sir / Madam,
    I am writing from Nigeria where we have been searching for
    just what you are proposing, If you would like to send me you bank details I
    will put in some money I have left over from one of our clients lucky
    windfalls. Unfortunately he passed away before he could collect it, we promised
    we would give it to a charity.

    Yours in splendid happiness 
    Miles Umbuta

  • user

    AUTHOR simonberg

    Posted on 6:54 pm June 12, 2013.
    Reply

    Sounds like nothing short of genius! I have the printing press standing by, just give the nod and I will have them run off the first few million! https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/21847649/SB_Buck.jpg

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